Sunday, November 25, 2012
About Me.
My name is Candice. I am 28 and living in Alabama. I've had severe RA for 3 years. I was diagnosed after my daughter was born. I knew something was really wrong when I couldn't button her clothes or walk across the living room. To top it off she had awful colic, so I was never sleeping either. I can't remember what it's like to be pain free, but it could be so much worse. I choose to take that attitude because I refuse to let RA own me. I am starting this blog because there are a lot of us out there with RA and the other problem I'm dealing with.....weight gain!!! Being on more medicine then my grandma and the off and on struggle with steroids has caused me some serious problems. I gained 50lbs when I was pregnant...YIKES! I was able to get myself back down to a healthy 150, but with constant flares I have ballooned back up to a whopping 170.....UGH!! I should probably mention that I love sweets and junk food, but I was always able to control my weight. Before I got pregnant I taught BodyPump at a local gym, I was in great shape. Being in constant pain can drive a person insane, but for me it just makes me eat. I feel like it is the one thing that I can control....but I don't. I just keep shoving more and more down my throat. The gym used to be my second home, now it takes me an hour to get my hands and feet to move in the morning and again after my daughter and I take a nap in the afternoon. I take walks with her, I swim, and do Yoga but the weight just keeps going up. Along with weight gain comes a total nose dive of self confidence and a heavy dose of self loathing. No one may ever read this blog and that's fine. I'll just use it as a very public journal, but today is November 25 and I want to see how much weight I can lose by Christmas. My husband and I are going to a concert in Atlanta on February 2nd and I'd really love to see him look at me the way he used too. I can do it, I know I can, but any advice and words of encouragement would be appreciated. I am going to be using the LiveStrong app for iPhone. I've set it to help me lose 1.5lbs per week....GULP!!! Wish me luck folks!
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Hi Candice,
ReplyDeleteI wrote you a comment shortly after I read your comment on warm socks - I wasn't quite as up on it as I thought. I think I have the hang of it now.
I can relate to what is happening, I had a hard time in the beginning because I didn't know what was going on - I felt as if I was a innocent victim sideswiped by RA but had no idea what it was all about. I wish I had had someone who had had it for a while to talk to about it, could reassure me that some things were fairly normal or that I needed to check with the doc. To be honest, the docs weren't a lot of help - this was 1970 and most of the time they just told women they were depressed and needed a hobby. They seemed to dismissed what we were feeling. Fortunately things are different now.
It can't be easy with a small child who depends on you, my heart goes out to you. I chose not to have children mainly because I am not a kid person, nor is my husband. I hope you find much joy with her and be able to do things with her.
If at any time you want to write and tell me what's happening, please feel free to do so - that is why we are all writing blogs and want to be there for others. I also encourage you to continue with your blog - it doesn't have to be profound or earthshaking. It has to be your voice and what you can contribute to the conversation in your own voice. My blog is not necessarily profound or earthshaking, but it helps me understand what is happening in my life and along the way I hope it is of use and benefit to others.
I have written about my Mom's dementia as well - it has definitely affected me, my husband and the RA (I refuse to call it "my RA") a lot. I have also learned from both - there are truly gifts in things that com into our lives.
If remember nothing else, remember this - You Are Not Alone! All of us are out here in cyberspace supporting you.
Hang in there,
Lee